TV Rant #1 aka Reality Real-its-not

"You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a- I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor." 


Thought I'd kick off the first few posts with a TV rant about shows on TV that people are familiar with but afraid to admit that they actually like.  Don't worry though, I have more opinions on other shows that actually are quality and ones that I think aren't that are often given more credit than is now due...cough..Family Guy....cough...

Anyway here's the first of hopefully more to come.


Real World Road Rules Challenges (MTV):  Ok, I’ll definitely admit it.  These are dirty pleasures.  It’s trash reality TV and I don’t claim to think it’s anything more serious.  But its o-so-amusing at the same time.  A reality show where participants openly plan, cavort, and backstab other contestants with no compunction that its anything else.  That’s the redeeming factor for me.  Throw in the random drunken moments and obscured nudity and scandalous hookup opportunities and we’ve got ourselves a classic representation of American culture on TV all in one spot.  Many of the contestants are “gamers” who know that they’re there for the money and the money alone and they’re willing to do whatever it takes.  Alliances are early and often changing with tide.

The slight problem I have with other reality competitions is that the contestants often are taken aback when other teams want to win and receive the prize and don’t always consider the welfare of those around them first like Survivor or Amazing Race.  I mean, going on a show, based solely on winning is the only way to get the prize, and people don’t realize that others are going not play nice.  My new term of “fakeality”  describes this best.  It’s like if you’ve ever seen The Apprentice and “the board room” scenes.  Here’s a typical sequence

Pre-winner determination meeting:

Overacting Headguy:  How was did everyone do this week?  Any weak links?
Group tool Leader #1/teammates:  Everyone did super duper this week.  I’d have a hard time with anyone being the weak link.
Group #2:  Ditto.  We all love each other because everyone gets along all the time and there are never any conflicts.

Post meeting (with losing team)

Losing Team member #1:  Teammate #2 is a (insert negative adjective) person.
Losing Team member #2:  Well, teammate #1 just ____________ and doesn’t like me at all.  I deny everything that camera showed was true about what they just said. 
Losing Team member #3:  Everyone else was a moron.  I would now like throw them under the bus and then have the bus stop and back up over them again if I can now.

With this show at least, there’s a lot less fake pretense of no backstabbing or under-the-bus throwing.  By the end of the first five minutes we all know that Macho man #1 (i.e. Kenny) and #2 (i.e.Wes) really don’t like each other, Evan is a schemer, and (insert random person) is a badass.  I will say though, on a more specific note, that the most recent iteration of the Challenge produced, Fresh Meat, is by far my least favorite.  The elimination challenges are so much more interesting and fun to watch when we see the contestants wrestling one another over a baton or putting together ridiculous puzzles instead of a race to see who can climb faster to the top of a mountain with a bar, two buckets and some weight. 

That…and there are some pretty hot girls sometimes.

And don't even get me started on that "the Hills/City" crap.  I mean...if it was scripted....that was the best they could come up with?  Really?  And yeah, I bet that girl what-ever-her-face-was really enjoyed "acting" like a ditz.  I bet it wasn't a stretch or the truth in real life at all....mmm hmmm..I bet.

"Lies are like children: they’re hard work, but it’s worth it because the future depends on them."

Princess Leia bikini.  I mean seriously, is there anything else hotter than a girl who can pull that off?  I only bring that up now as a tribute to the greatness that is the original trilogy.  Well….and because I just was exposed to this video:  Galactic Empire State of Mind  

Although I have to admit and maybe its my predilection as a someone in the health care field, I’m a sucker for a naughty nice nurse outfit.  It’s kinda weird working at a hospital in that way.  I mean, its kinda sad now that its almost become a reflex now immediately upon noticing a cute girl, to check out her left hand for one of those sparkly circles of notification letting me know of my chances and lack thereof.   And let me tell you, the health care field feels like second semester senior year of college at a small religious school times ten.  Anyone else know what I mean??  

Every other person is already got that ring on the finger and if they don't they're "serious" with someone already.  That's the thing though.  I mean as I age (GASP) the relative ability to discern the specific age of those of a shorter lifespan becomes more vague.  Age (and therefore hopefully maturity) becomes less of an issue as one becomes older but right now I'm definitely at the point of where if she can't use a real ID to get into the bar, I have no interest.  I want a girl that I bring home to mommy, who knows how to act proper, but one who isn't afraid to get dirty, not a drama high maintenance beauty queen. 

Most people are familiar with the phrase that "the past is told by those who win."  I think this applies to relationships, especially the failed ones.  How many times have I had to to paraphrase the way things went down either to myself in order to convince myself that I did or chose the right thing.  Or how bout the girl on the other side explaining her side of the situation?  Hasn't everyone who's had a failed relationship at some point tried to put the spin on it to make themselves look the better coming out of it?

I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high school, never going, ever showing up when we had to.  I'm sick of always hearing act your age.  And I'm not just saying that because its a lyric from a popular song. 

 Eh, so much for my happy ending.   My unicorn isn’t a unicorn.  It’s a donkey with a plunger stuck to its head.  It could be a cold night for a lifetime.   

 Gosh, I'm starting to sound so emo.  I better snap out of it and soon.  I think I'd rather talk more about the things in the first two paragraphs instead. . that is unless people prefer to talk about bitter ex's and relationships.    But seriously, there's this.  Doesn't that make life just a little happier now...or at least make you want to get your car washed?